i am so blessed!!

date: sun21jun09
weather: windy
location: bed
thinkin of: God
feelin: overwhelmed, tears of joy on my face

i am so blessed! i really am!
and my heart has not stopped its 1001 somersaults, more than just fallin in love over again, more than just the warm fuzzy feelin but a gratefulness/thankfulness i cant describe..

from the time i heard that i was going to be a fac, i thought flo was jokin till prep camp (few wks before yiss), dat i realised, gosh, i really am going to be a fac!! being human, the adaptive human survival mechanism kicked in and at times i questioned if i was really the right person for this..

and the journey begins, from the moment flo announced that selina is my co fac, i was like gosh...this is crazy! i cant believe this!
it was 08 during easter outin at fort canning that i first began to know her and we kinda clicked the first time we spoke, like i think i got something in common with her la and shes just so easy to talk to!

then we began planning for the bookmarks and we both liked flowers, so wanted something to do with flowers..so decided on daisy flower and guess what, later on during the wk, we realised that our intercessor was daisy and you know its like kinda him sayin that "all things will work out together for the good of those who love him" ;)

prior to this camp, felt that He was leading me to read the entire book of ephesians and during the course of the camp, there was something that was mentioned that related to eph, be it a mass reading, during p&w or during a group discussion that i could use the a verse from eph to encourage the team etc, it was so encouraging! then the goodness of God jus slowly unravelled in this few days, from being a all girls group, to having ALL, yes ALL of them being so open and sharing ever so freely with all during sharings..

the thing that i was strugglin with before this camp was like sharin my testimony and it was the first time sharin this so publicly i guess & kinda scared cos my sis was in the crowd and i didnt want her to cry when hearin it and josie said,"just let her cry, its okie, really" so i was alright, i bet i looked pretty silly but it was all worth it... but it couldnt have been any other way cos i told God i would give a testimony, one day for Him, and i am glad i did it, cos i knew it paved the way for others to find Him in this camp and also to deepen my further relationship btw sis and i... praise you God!

though i din attended yiss as a participant before (attended YES camp by ZJ) , i felt like this was my yiss, as i saw in the teamies hearts how they related to God and i was like me findin God all over again through their sharings! and its like all of them left with such a tangible God-experience..praise God for that! ;))

and thru this camp, this verse came alive for me ,"there is no fear in love but that perfect love casts out all fears".. 1john4:18

i guess i recited this verse countless times, and mostly it would just be words but this time around, i really surrended this camp/facil role to God and just asked him to use me as a vessel, wateva works Lord, jus use it... and throughout the whole of this camp, his love and peace drenchin my heart and jus overflowing from within, that there was no space for fear or the thought of fear to even be present.

my God moment in worship was durin kev's session when we started with how great, to above all and ended off with beautiful saviour, tears of joy! overwhelmin joy that filled my heart... sorta like the analogy of David dancing with joy before God!

psalms 34:18 - the Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit

psalm teamies:
gab, bri, olsen, sam, rach, ange... thankew for being such a dear to both sel & i, for making our roles as facils so easy, your faith and love for Him, individually and as a team inspires us so much to want to know and love God even more and more...know that He is always with you... love u all

p.s: honestly, i didnt miss playin the guitar at all, haha, wt is gonna flip if they hear this! but i really enjoyed my time as a facil nonetheless...
next yi fac again? yays...bring it on! ;)

p.s sel: u go girl! cheerin u on here in sg as u scale mebc! love yaa

father god, you are so amazing that i cant describe it but i jus want you to know how real you were in the lifes of these people you've brought to this camp, more than jus a feelin of happiness, but a realisation, a realisation that you were always here with us father, that at times we fail to realise it cos our hurts, brokeness just prevented us from seein you and father i thank you for removing the veil of dirt from our glasses that now we see, with renewed vision of how you have always loved us from the beginning, and i am so thankful with every fibre of my being...really, love u God!

The time is now
Come Church arise...
Love with His hands
See with His eyes...
Bind it around you,
Let it never leave you,
And they will know us by our love...

-adapted from by our love, christy nockels, 2009